My mind wouldn't let me sleep this morning. It was filled with the typical mosaic of worries, random thoughts and 'bright ideas' that clog the mind of a husband/father over 30. ('How are we going to afford that?', 'What meetings do I have tomorrow?', 'How can we afford anything??', 'Hmm, wonder if she'd be in the mood if I woke her up... that might help me sleep', 'What are the Pats going to do about the outside linebacker position?' 'I need to say 'no' more', 'I really need to start exercising', 'Better not press my luck, let her sleep', 'I wonder if I have cancer', 'Am I in the right career?', 'Am I setting the right example for the kids?', Did I set the alarm?', 'Does it matter? I'll just get up now') So I shuffle downstairs to make some cereal and find some answers. What awaited me was more questions...
As I am putting away the milk and throwing out a few runaway Cheerios that hit the floor I spot a magazine on the counter with bright yellow and neon pink lettering that featured a picture of three effeminate young boys with thick mops of hair and pouty faces that obscured most of the mag's title... "Seventeen". The cover featured a preview of the worldly topics within its glossy pages...
- "625 HOT Summer Looks! *Flirty Makeup Tips *Pretty Hair Ideas"
- "17 ALERT: More than 150,000 girls will get pregnant this summer by accident"
- "200 Swimsuits INSIDE! Find YOUR perfect fit"
- "Jonas Bros - Their most REVEALING interview EVER!" (Ah, that must be the androgynous trio from the cover pic)
- "How to tell if he is a good kisser... JUST by looking at him"
- "Total Beach Body Confidence - Awesome Abs, Butt and Legs - in 15minutes"
SO let me sum this up... "We'll show you how to paint your face to look easy, avoid getting pregnant, show off your body at the beach, fuel your fantasy of famous heartthrobs by thinking you know 'the real' Jonas Bros., judge a boy's looks in order to initiate intimacy and finally, how to cut corners to achieve the ideal body that you don't have... fatty!"
Well, at least they don't want a girl to get pregnant... cuz it might ruin their beach body or worse... it could be listed as one of the Jonas Bros 'turn-offs'.
So I rant about this crap and the message it sends to young girls, but what does that make me? This is MY 13 year old daughter's magazine. SEVENTEEN?! It's closer than I want to admit but it isn't THAT close.
Do I say 'no more' and preach on about the lack of morals and values in the world? About how to find confidence and beauty within yourself? How to look beyond the hair, the face or the designer clothes when getting to know someone? The virtues of 'waiting'? Then lock her in her room and homeschool her? (My instinctual reaction)
OR, do I ignore it. Let it be. Let her find her own way and hope for the best?
Do I risk pushing her further away if I tackle the problem with 'force' and resistance? If I don't, do I risk raising a shallow young girl? Will I be babysitting my grandchild so she can go to the prom while the 'deadbeat dad' with the Nick Jonas eyes is nowhere to be found?
Perhaps there's a middle ground. Can I find it within myself to allow some slack on this sort of thing in hopes that my wife and I have done enough to foster open communication for her to ask questions? She may not like to listen to our advice but, when it matters, when we are not there, will she hear our voices? Do we minimize the impact that such trash has on her mind by paying it little respect or attention? By laughing it away? Or do we legitimize it by ever letting it enter our home?
Like I said, 'more questions'... for now, I will see about buying a lock for her bedroom door and pricing out tutors. Sigh... can I afford that? What's for lunch? I should get back to work. Did the Pats find a linebacker yet?...
