So late last night I am on a mission in search of either Robin with a motorcycle or the Green Lantern plane. The new 4 year old of the house, at the 11th hour, made his wants very clear of what he was expecting on his birthday. Neither of these were amongst the great stuff I had already gotten him. So off to various locations searching and hoping.
Around 10pm I found myself outside of a Walmart. Who knew so many people went shopping for groceries, lawn care, car care, electronics and clothing at such an hour on a Monday. (I won't bother mentioning personal hygiene products as I suspect no one there actually uses them)
As I walk in a guy and his friend are walking through the automatic doors fumbling with their pack of cigarettes. They were apparently unable to hold back the urge brought on by everyday low prices. So as guy #1 puts his '40' of Budweiser under his arm he drops a lone Marlboro on the pavement. Guy #2, the gentlemen that he is, shifts his case of Natty Light to his other hand and swoops down to recover his comrade's fallen tobacco stick. Not to be out done by Guy #2's obvious Ninja training, Guy #1 had deftly, mid-shuffle, whacked another butt out of the carton and into his mouth. By the time Ninja Guy handed the cigarette back to his buddy, Guy #1 was already striking the lighter. Poetry in motion!
What came next is what astonished me the most. Already in awe of the split second martial artistry I had been privileged to witness, I could not turn away as I overheard Guy #1's response to his pal's chivalry. "Naw, Dude. I ain't gonna smoke that after it's been on the ground." And in a single sweeping motion snatched the cigarette from his hand like a pebble from the hand of a sensei and tossed it back to the ground…
I would love to tell you that a sword fight or Ninja melee broke out after such an insult but alas, nothing. Guy #1 and Guy #2 were mortal again. I entered the cool expanse of the Super Wal-mart and through my disappointment I could not help reflecting on that moment with a single thought… 'Dude, it's a $#@%& cigarette! Getting it dirty is the least of your worries! Heck, licking the dirt off of it is probably better for you than lighting it!'
And yes… I found the Green Lantern plane. Mission accomplished.
